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    September 30

    十月了

      突然感觉怎么九月就一下子结束了,好像什么都没有做。有点点小失落。
    新学期伊始曾决定要好好学习,认认真真的,静下心来做点事。这一个月思想涣散,很忙,但不知道忙了些什么,不像是我的作风。
      从大一开始盼望着大二,现在二了又萌生了大三你快快来的想法,有点鄙视自己了,不就遇到了小小的困难就给自己找借口,想逃避。活在当下。不管是在哪里总是有收获的,大一有许多公差,自己都变得沉默寡言了,心里极其的不爽,现在想想,可能就是这段经历让我能够不抱怨,心平气和地接受每一项任务,少说话多做事,以后碰到自己不愿意做的事也会坦然地处之。大二当了新生的班长,认为是xxxxx,不喜欢与太多的人接触,有点考验我了,所有事都得想到,怎么样才能让他们适应这里的生活,又不通过处罚的措施,难啊。生病,退学,思想的波动都是我事先没有想到的。由于被说太温柔了被迫一夜之间改变态度,不能有笑脸。可能现在要学的就是做事要考虑周到了,不要什么时候伤了人都不知道。带新生去门诊,被说对自己的父母都没有这么着急过,汗颜。
        第一次知道什么苦都不是苦的时候是第一次站军姿。人人间隔一米,豆大的汗珠从背上一颗颗的滚下来,迷彩帽压的很低,为的是不让发现我的思想波动。眼前就只有紧张,团结,严肃,活泼。这八个大字,一遍遍地在心里默念,破瓦房的轮廓依旧能够描绘,当时所想的这将是我一生中最苦的时候。但一小时军姿下来,最多就是腿疼,其他什么也没有。苦过去了就不会是苦了。
        第一次知道我可以很认真做一件事的时候,是叠军被。我可以早上3,4点中起来压被子,不惜用腿磨被子,至今我两条夏裤膝盖处都是白白的一片。被说过我的被子是全连最薄的一床,但型不好,马上拿到天台去晒,晒得惨不忍睹。
         现在回想一下,为什么我不能拿出我当时的劲来对待现在的每分每秒呢?

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